In a Conflict All by Yourself

In my New Birth University class, we are studying the book “Intentional Choices – discovering contentment in stressful times”. The third session is entitled “The stress of relationships”. We did an in-depth study on how stressful relationships can be, and how to deal with that stress. One of the questions in the book was… “Who do you need to talk to about a conflict you’re having”? Most of us have at least one person in our lives that we’re having a conflict with.

However, I mentioned to them that sometimes we’re in a conflict with someone who doesn’t know they’re in a conflict with us! We’re upset over some perceived offense and spend much too much of our time thinking about this perceived conflict and how we want to tell this person how we feel and what they did to us, and yadah, yadah, yadah.

I told them the story of the lady many years ago that came up to me after a church service, and blasted me out for talking about her during church. Now please understand. She was sitting at least 75 feet away from me, and without my glasses…which I didn’t have on…I couldn’t see clearly but about 5 feet in front of me. I didn’t even see the lady! I was flabbergasted and of course, a little taken aback. She had apparently been upset all during church and had worked herself into a tizzy thinking I was talking about her. I could only imagine what was going through her mind and what she was going to tell me, as she high tailed it over to me after church; only to find out that I couldn’t even see her, let alone talk about her. Yes, her face was cracked and on the ground (I know, my age is showing). And yes, I did roll my eyes at her and shake my head as she walked away, with a big ol’ “humph”!

But, how many of us are in such a conflict? Who are you beefing with that doesn’t know they’re in a beef with you? In order for us to grow to become everything God has for us, we need to look at ourselves and areas in our lives that need cleaning up. Free yourself and your mind from a perceived offense. Let it go. Empty out all those things that keep you from reaching your potential, so you can grow. One thing I know for sure is that you don’t have to go looking for a fight, because one will always come to you. Save your energy for those, you’re going to need it.

Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don’t yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ. Ephesians 4:31-32 CEV

Love you to life!


  • Karen L says:

    Ugh, conflict….the one thing that keeps me centered especially at work and home is something my brother likes to say to me all the time and that is “You can’t control what other people do/say but you can control how you respond to them”. I adore my very wise brother so his words come to the front of my mind when I hit some type of negativity or conflict. I also feel that anger separates me from God and I don’t want that! So I’m constantly checking myself…especially under pressure.

  • mary breckenridge says:

    You know sometimes it is more than one .Anger can really make you sick.
    keep your foot on it at all times

  • mary breckenridge says:

    Bitterness and anger go hand in hand.Sometimes we can not see we have but others do Don’t kill yourself

  • Erica Waller says:

    Need this class often! Lol!

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