I am Not a Hoe…and Neither Are You

What is a hoe? As defined by internetslang.com a hoe is a whore, slut, or a woman who will sleep with anyone. It is regularly used in rap songs as a way of describing women who they sleep with or just women in general. It is so common that I have even heard women talking to their friends and calling each other hoes, as if it was a term of endearment.

However, I was never so offended because within the past two months I have heard two African-American pastors describe women as hoes. One pastor tweeted “Ladies, if you want to be the only woman your man looks at, you need to shine it up. Don’t let those hoes he comes across outshine you”. The other pastor quoted lyrics in a Chris Brown song by telling men to watch who they listen to because “these hoes aint loyal”. I understand that some of you may read this and say what’s wrong with them saying that “it’s true…hoes are trying to get your man”! That response is exactly what’s wrong with our society when we call women hoes, and we think it’s okay. Jesus certainly never called us hoes. As a matter of fact, he regularly defended women who were ostracized by society.

Not too many years ago, African-Americans were regularly called niggers (yes, I typed it) and no one thought anything about it. That’s just what we were. Fast forward to today and now when someone uses the word, they have to say the “N-word”, unless of course, you’re a rapper or live in an environment where it is still regularly used like any other word. But I digresss….

Yes, I know there are women who sleep around with men. But I also know that it takes two. We as women have played a role in this description being applied to us. It’s a sad day when Rhianna receives a fashion icon award and shows up in a completely nude dress with only a thong underneath bearing all her rear end and her breast on full display. She was lauded as being daring and invoking Josephine Baker. I shook my head in shame.

Nevertheless, we are not what society calls us, and we aren’t even what some Pastors (in the name of keeping it real) have called us. If a woman is exhibiting those qualities, then instead of calling her a hoe, first think about some of your actions in the past, and instead of criticizing her, why don’t you give her a hand and help her out. Tell her she’s not what people say she is or who she might believe herself to be. Tell her who she is in Christ. The bible says that:

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. – (Ephesians 2:10)

You realize, don’t you, that you are the temple of God, and God himself is present in you? – (1 Corinthians 3:16)

You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. – (Psalm 139:15)

Just as a stand was taken against people using nigger, we need to take a stand against “hoes” being used to describe women. After all, if they call a woman a hoe, they’re talking about you as well…because you’re a woman.

Will you stand with me today? I am not a hoe…and neither are you!

I love you to life!


  • April Starks says:

    I agree that women need to protect themselves and other women against the degrading imagines portrayed of us. But when we as women are the primary promoters of such demoralizing characters in the lime light then we affirm this is something we consider to be acceptable or cute. I would be curious to see statistics of the number of females who faithfully patronize artist, actress, media outlets and shows that basically present women as hoes. As women of God we have so much power to make a difference in the thought patterns of the world. I like this quote by Maya Angelou, “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” By embracing these words, I personally have to consider what I allow and don’t allow, what I say and don’t say, what I promote and don’t promote. And, hopefully by doing this I can do my part in dispelling “labeling words”, the ignorance of blanket statements and the lack of ability to intellectually articulate contrary behavior in our society whether it’s a male or female stating it.

  • Nay Dunnaway says:

    We as women at times allow ourselves to be depicted as such. We need to know that we do not have to have the mindset that some men and or women has deceived us to have. Quoting Dr. Angelou, as Minister Starks did, we are “Phenomenal” women. God chose to make us because we in God’s eyes have a place in this world and mostly in His heart. So no matter what others may call women of this day, God calls us “BLESSED”!

  • Karen Lovely says:

    I am who God says I am, no man or woman defines who I am …. fearfully and wonderfully made!!

  • Denia Davis says:

    I must admit that my mouth fell open when I read the comments made by the Pastors you mentioned in the article. Likewise, I have to admit that I was flabbergasted at the ensamble worn by Rhianna. Not because she wore it; her past “bold” statements fall in line with that. However, I am flabbergasted at what society deems exceptable today! It is truly sad!

    Tyler Perry said it best when he said, “It’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to that matters”. This is why it is so important for us women to know who are in Christ and what He says about us. I do not answer to hoe, or any of the other derogatory names given to women, because I know who I am and whose I belong to.

    Thanks Pastor Ruth, great blog!

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