Have to or Want to

I was reading something the other day and the writer made the comment that you should “do it like you don’t need the money”. Wow…that takes the pressure off. In life, we put so many pressures on ourselves; whether we’re on the job, or being the perfect friend/spouse/daughter. We do the things we HAVE to do, not the things we WANT to do.

It reminds me of one of my favorite movies entitled “Parenthood”, starring Steve Martin. There’s an intense scene where he has just quit his job because he was passed over for a promotion. While talking to his wife about it, she asks him could he get his old job back because she just found out she was pregnant with their fourth child. Of course, he’s upset about it and goes on to say that he has to leave because he has to take their oldest son to his baseball game. His wife asks him if he HAS to go, and his reply was “My whole life is HAVE to”. Very poignant and very true.

Our lives are filled with “have to’s”. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our lives were filled with “want to’s”? Life would be so much easier. I know you’re thinking, “She’s living in LALA Land”. But it is possible. I’m not saying that you’ll never have the “have to’s”, but you can have a whole lot more “want to’s”. How’s that you ask? Thanks for asking and let me tell you.

You can have them by the simple choices you make. Maybe someone makes you angry on the job, and you’re justified in your anger. You don’t “have to” fly off the handle and tell them what they did wrong. You can choose to calmly talk to that person about the situation because you “want to” and because you’re bigger than that. Maybe you’re in the grocery line with a cart full of groceries and the person behind you has a few items. You don’t “have to” let them in front of you, even though you’re in a rush. You let them in front of you because you “want to”, knowing that you would want someone to do the same for you. Maybe your child wants a special toy. Although you don’t necessarily “have” the money, you purchase the toy because you “want” to. It’s all perspective.

The next time you get ready to make a decision. Try making it a “want to”, instead of a “have to”. You’ll feel much better about your decision. I pray that you have a “want to” life.

John 10:10 – A thief comes only to rob, kill, and destroy. I came so that everyone would have life, and have it in its fullest.

Love you to life!


  • NICOLE says:

    This is a great read. I have been trying to use the power of positive choice here lately so this speaks to me. We really can choose to be positive and make positive decisions over things that normally cause us anger or anxiety. It takes training, but it can be done!

  • Tanya Seabrooks says:

    Awesome Pastor Ruth!!!

  • Erica Waller says:

    Hallelujah! This just freeed me up! I am going back to doing hair full time because I want to!! Wow that shook me a little bit! 🙂

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